Why I Can't Give Up Homeschooling, Even on the Hard Days

I would like to pose a very simple question:

What is education?

This seems simple on the surface, but this is actually much, much deeper than meets the eye. 

This is the question that keeps me going on even the hardest days of homeschooling. Even on the days when I swear to myself that we are making a huge mistake and I'm enrolling them in school and putting them on that big yellow bus tomorrow. 

I have a Master's Degree in elementary education, have been around kids and public schools my entire life, have three kids of my own, and, yet, being tasked with answering this question these past two and half years has turned my entire world upside down. 

What makes it so difficult is trying to sift through what I have been told, whether directly or indirectly, my entire life about what education is from what I actually believe it is. 

Everyone has a "philosophy" of education whether you think you do or not. What you think a child should learn, how you think a child should learn it and when are some of the things that drive that philosophy. Who is responsible for facilitating that learning is another part. How you know when a child has learned something is yet another component. 

If you don't think you have a philosophy, it's most likely because you have just naturally adopted what the public school system tells us it should be. (And the hard truth is, that if your kid is in public school, you don't really have much of a voice in forming that philosophy.) Which is exactly what I did until the Lord stirred our hearts and we dove into the uncharted waters of homeschooling.  

But why does this question matter? 

Shouldn't we just do what the majority of the country does and send our kids to public school when they turn five? Does it really matter if we have a philosophy or not? I mean, is it really that big of a deal?

At first, I didn't think so. But now as we are entering our third year of this homeschooling thing, I've realized that, actually:

Yes! 

Yes, it is! 

Because whether we realize it or not, how we answer that question frames our entire outlook on life, on success, and in turn determines how we spend our children's time and our time as a family.  

So, just for fun, imagine this: 

All the boundaries and limits most school systems put on kids (and as a direct result, families) are magically taken away- things like the number of days kids have to be in school, the HOURS kids have to be in school, grade levels, requirements to "pass" each grade level, standardized tests, incentivized reading, math, or other subject-related programs, progress reports, dictated subjects and specific learning standards, report cards, classrooms composed of same-aged peers, reading levels, "gifted" programs, "special education" programs, extra credit, homework, spelling lists, all types of arbitrary measuring sticks that cause comparison, competition, and sometimes anxiety... take all of those things away, and what are you left with? 

Really, think about this. 

What are you left with? 

If it were completely up to you- your child's school years were just an immense blank slate stretched before you like an open field- no timelines, no pressure, no testing, no comparison ... what would you want your child to know? How would you fill your child's time?

And that's where we find ourselves right back at that essential question again:

What is education? 

It is the freedom we have as a homeschooling family to answer this question for ourselves that keeps me going on the hard days.

What do we want our children to know and be able to do? 

When is it important for them to know what we want them know?

What priorities do we have as a family? 

How can we structure our minutes, hours, days, and weeks to actually support and sustain those priorities? 

How do we want our children to feel about learning? 

I am not naive to realize that what we have come to think of as "education" these days is about much, much more than simply the acquisition of knowledge. It's a way for kids to make friends and have experiences, and yes, learn things, but it's become more about a specific culture related to the schools themselves, not necessarily about the actual education happening inside the buildings. Spirit days, school plays, cafeteria food, all the hallmark things we come to know through our experience in schools add to the connotation of "education." 

And I do miss all of those things. I have days where my emotions are all over the place and times of serious doubt. 

But what I've been shown, by God's unexpected blessing, is that there is another way for the kids to experience most all of those things. (Yes, even things like bullying and cliques- any group of children, no matter where they are isn't immune from these things) without the limits the traditional school system imposes and live a completely different kind of life. 

A life where on a rainy day we can stay in our pajamas, cuddle up on the couch, and read together. 

A life where when we are learning about fossils we can travel to a place and dig up actual fossils from the ground. 

A life where my child who is struggling to learn to read feels no pressure or condemnation from being "behind" because there really is no "behind" in the first place. 

A life that enables us to spend time with family and friends and still have time to take part in all the activities we want to be in and allows the boys time to be together and celebrate the small everyday successes in real-time. 

A life that takes advantage of the natural curiosity every child is born with, that natural thirst for information and answers without relying traditional methods. 

We get to structure our kids' school years in a way that just wouldn't be possible otherwise and we have the freedom to decide what a quality education for our children is. It's helped us step back and re-examine the choices we were making on default and really take the time to explore and think deeply about them. 

And if you'll allow me to be a little sinister for a minute, the reality that we never know when our last day will come is part of the equation, too. The Lord's coming surely must be near, y'all!! 🤪👀🤣 But we don't want to look back and regret time not better spent. 

Could homeschooling be a huge mistake? Eh, possibly. 

Will the kids miss out on some things? Of course! 

Will they one day look back and feel a little resentment that they didn't get to experience elementary or middle school (we have no idea how long we will keep this homeschooling thing going) like "normal" kids? Possibly. 

But as I'm sitting here typing this thinking about the absolute mess our world is, I think we will take our chances. ;) 

We spend our days exploring nature, being together as a family, and yes, with lots of friends, too, experiencing new places and things, reading lots and lots and lots of great books, filling our minds with truth, goodness, and beauty and as each day goes by we are finding our answer to that essential question a little more clearly and little more confidently. 

Our hope is that as we are living this life alongside the kids, making the most of every day we have together, that even though they might feel like they missed out on some things, they will look back on what what they got in return and think it was equally as good, if not better. 

I fully realize that the homeschool life is not for everyone. I am in no way trying to persuade anyone or insult anyone, but because I have been given the incredible gift to see life in a completely different way, I feel like it's my duty to tell you, that if you have ever even so much as thought about it, it's worth looking into. 

Even on the days when I feel like I just can't do it anymore, the thought of giving it all up is just inconceivable. We've been shown the other side and there's just no going back. We have to see where this journey takes us, following the Lord's lead as we go. 

So, what is education? How do you want to fill your child's days? 

The answer is completely up to you!