The Hardest Job I've Ever Had

Being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had.

Besides a job at a daycare in high school, I have had only one job in my life- being a teacher. And that job wasn’t just a job for me- it was my lifestyle. I lived and breathed it and loved it and as a result I reached a place where I was fairly good at it and I felt a real sense of confidence and pride. It wasn’t always easy and I definitely had my share of failures, struggles, difficulties, and hardships, but the challenge was exciting and I was constantly growing, learning, and improving. I loved my students, my coworkers, my own little classroom, the smell of the cafeteria and sweaty kids after recess. Ok, maybe not so much the smelly kids, but you get my drift!

When I became a full-time-mom I never imagined that I would have to apply the same amount of work and learning to my parenting. But the reality is- being a mom is simply the hardest job I have ever had.

What makes it so hard? Well, for me, it’s a constant self-improvement project. My kids tend to bring out the worst parts of me. The impatient, selfish parts that weren’t always so present when I was working. No one is home with me offering praise for a job well done and I don’t have a team of people down the hall to collaborate with, plan, and problem-solve. Now that I realize how important those things are I am making an effort to “build my tribe” as the current lingo goes, but doing that takes extra time, energy, and effort that I don’t always have.

Half the time I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. There are so many situations in which I just have to stop and pray because I don’t want to yell or lose my cool. I’ve done the yelling and time-out- and lecturing (with lots of tears- both mine and Connor's!) too many times to count. I can tell you from experience- it doesn’t work!

God knew what he was doing when he paved the way for me to stay at home. I have learned through the situations I’ve faced that God polishes me like sandpaper on wood. The end result is beautiful, but the process is sometimes uncomfortable. Sometimes painful. Sometimes downright heart-wrenching.

I have also learned that we all have our unique boundaries, limits, and struggles. What is hard for me isn’t necessarily a problem for other moms and vice versa. Accepting that my struggles are just that- mine- and that no one can help me truly fix them but myself and God has been humbling. My own experiences, opinions, and frame of reference influences the way I parent and that isn’t always a good thing! For me to be a better mom I have to be the best version of myself and that requires change from the inside-out. Way easier said than done.

Thankfully, along with the challenging situations, he has also blessed me with people who are helping me in my journey. I have learned so much about myself and my children and just like when I was teaching I am constantly learning, growing, changing, problem-solving and improving.

After some soul-searching I realized that one of the things that helps fill me up is writing about and sharing my experiences. I have been so thankful to receive the help I have and I want to share anything that could potentially help just one other mom. Whether that’s sharing a lesson I’ve learned, a challenging moment I survived without losing my cool, a funny thing one of the kids did, or whatever- I just want to share. Writing is about the only creative outlet I have at the moment and I want to make an effort to do it more. I’m going to revisit this lonely ol’ blog of mine and rekindle our relationship. Ha!

So here’s to all of us mommas out there who are just doing the best we can for ourselves and our kids. My hope is that by sharing my journey I just might be able to offer something positive to someone else!