Friday, March 31, 2017

The Reality of Being a Teacher and a Mom


It's 8:05 on a Friday night and I could literally fall asleep right at this moment. I'm exhausted. Besides the fact that this week has been absolutely nuts- think two days of no recess, lunch break or conference, a history-making storm resulting in fearful children crouched in the duck-and-cover position for what seemed like an eternity, throw up, bloody noses, poopy toilets, the list goes on!- this feeling of exhaustion has come to be the norm.

However, my Facebook keeps reminding me of all the things I've posted in the past on this little ol' blog of mine, so I felt the urge to write. And I miss it. Not only do I miss writing, but I miss the person I was when I had the time and energy to write all of those posts. Back when life was more simple and I had fewer priorities. Not that I would trade my life now for anything in the world, but sitting here writing this is making me feel all nostalgic.

I never realized how hard it would be to be both a teacher and a mom. There's a certain guilt I've carried with me my entire teaching career about never being able to do enough, or be enough, for all of my students. There are always a million things on my mind. Right now as I sit here, I remember that I didn't finish filling out the dyslexia paperwork that's been on my desk for WEEKS, I still haven't put together a folder for a parent who asked for extra work, and even after setting a reminder on my phone, I STILL forgot to meet with a student and help them understand subtraction. With all the things that happen during the course of the day and all the needs of my students- it seems impossible to give any one child everything that they need, much less all of them! I'm sure every teacher in the world knows that nagging feeling of teacher guilt. It's tough.

Now that I have my own child, that struggle is even more real. I've been used to being able to spend as much free time as I wanted to working and thinking about my students and school. Now, all I want to do when I get home is play with Connor and when he goes to bed all I want to do is SLEEP. So that teacher guilt? It's even more magnified.

I absolutely love my job and "my kids" at school. I absolutely love my child. And I absolutely NEED some relaxation time. So what's a girl to do? I guess the only answer is learn to live with doing the best I can do with the time I have, and let the rest of it go. Not an answer I love, but it's reality for now, and it's what has to be done. I can't even IMAGINE what it would be like to have another kid - or two!

I'm learning to live life with a child of my own and balance it with the life I used to know. I'm getting better at it, and slowly but surely I know I'll find ways to better maximize my time. But for now, I'll try to hush that inner voice telling me all the things I should be doing and truly enjoy my time with this little guy. And I just might make a little trip up to school this weekend and finish that paperwork. Maybe.


And to all you other teacher mommas out there- hats off to you! Especially those of you with two or more kids!! I honestly don't know how you do it and you are truly my heroes. Keep fighting the good fight and know that you are amazing and an inspiration to me!


6 comments:

  1. Hang in there, Kelly! Summer is coming. I stayed home with my babies for a while. But the guilt never leaves, even when they are in high school. I'm always battling my time between school demands and wanting to be with my children. I wish I could leave the building at 3:30 and just shut it off. But I'm not that kind of teacher. Teaching has become too demanding, especially for the amount of pay we
    receive. But there is nothing that compares with being a mom. Enjoy that adorable little boys of your as much as you can. Students have lots of teachers, by your little boy only has one mom. <3

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  2. I just had a baby and I miss my little third graders so much! Thank you for your post!

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  3. Well, hats off to you Kelly! I enjoyed your post! I got my degree in teaching, but then didn't end up teaching due to being a stay-at-home mom, but after a while I wanted to get back into doing something for me and that I enjoy. There are a number of books and such on finding balance with time and life, but it sounds like you are handling things really well! Definitely enjoy the time we have and make the most of it : ) Don't feel guilty for not blogging, or not getting to everything--it's totally normal, but think positively and enjoy everything as much as you can. My kids are getting older now and it's constantly a battle thinking if I am spending enough quality time with each one (I have five). Anyway, thought I'd let you know I appreciated your post. Keep up the great work!
    ~Lucy
    Kids Math Teacher

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  4. I so needed to read this. Thank you!

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  5. Hi Kelly,

    My name is Anuj Agarwal. I'm Founder of Feedspot.

    I would like to personally congratulate you as your blog Koonce's Korner has been selected by our panelist as one of the Top 100 Upper Elementary Blogs on the web.

    https://blog.feedspot.com/upper_elementary_blogs/

    I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world. This is the most comprehensive list of Top 100 Upper Elementary Blogs on the internet and I’m honored to have you as part of this!

    Also, you have the honor of displaying the badge on your blog.

    Best,
    Anuj

    ReplyDelete

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