Can YOU Homeschool? Yes!

I've found myself having several unexpected conversations with people lately about homeschooling. It's that time of year when the school year is winding down and we start to think about next school year. There are lots of reasons why people may think about homeschooling, but regardless, I've found myself saying the same things during these conversations, so I thought I would just write a post about it in case you or someone you know may be thinking about it (or maybe just curious!)

The parents I have talked to are genuinely feeling the pull to keep their kids home, are very curious and deep down they really want to do it, but their fears are holding them back from actually pulling the trigger.

And before I dig in, let me say this: It was never our plan to homeschool. 

We bought our house specifically for the elementary school we are zoned to. Because I was a public school teacher we never even considered homeschooling. But low and behold, one day I felt the call from the Lord, and it threw me for a complete loop!

I was almost distraught for weeks while Jeff and I were discussing it. We literally knew NO ONE who homeschooled and knew absolutely nothing about it, other than things I had read about from Sally Clarkson (a woman I love dearly who has written lots of books about motherhood and who homeschooled her four children who are now all successful adults) and the stigmas we knew from the world at large. 

I felt like this just could not be the path we were supposed to take, but the voice in my head only became stronger. I was pregnant with our third baby at the time and he was due in July, not long before the kids would start school again. 

It was a huge decision that felt like the weight of the entire world when we were thinking about it, but when I finally made the phone call to officially pull them out for the following year, it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I can still remember the feeling because it was so... shocking. I was expecting to be hyperventilating, but instead I just felt this overwhelming sense of peace. 

It's funny what happens when you obey God's still, small voice. 

Here we are almost two years later and while I'm no expert (not even close!) and our kids are still young and miles away from graduation, I can say with confidence that the homeschool life is a sweet life, and I am so glad God called our family to this path. Homeschooling has changed my life is such a profound way and I feel like part of my responsibility while I'm on this path is to do my best to empower other families who feel the call to homeschool. 

With all of that said, here are the top three fears I hear about most often from my conversations with other parents and my responses to each. Hopefully, this can be helpful for you or for someone else you know who may be thinking about making the jump. 

1. I'm not a trained teacher. I don't think I can teach my kids.  

I think this is probably the number one fear most people have when thinking about homeschooling and believe it or not, this was a fear I had despite having a Master's degree in education! 

So the very first thing I want to say right off the bat is that you are already your child's teacher.

If you are a parent, you are a teacher. You have most likely taught your kids to dress themselves or use the potty. If you haven't yet, you will. Teaching them the parts of an insect is no different. You may just need a resource to help you! ;)

Teaching your own child at home is as different from teaching a class of students in a school setting as apples are different from oranges. Teachers in schools have standards to teach that they didn't choose on a timeline they didn't set and have to meet requirements they often have no input in making all while managing a classroom full of all kinds of kiddos who have a wide range of needs that a single teacher just can't possibly meet as hard as they may try (and hats off to all the amazing men and women who do just that every single day!)

The higher-ups are pushing educational content down to younger and younger students and it just doesn't have to be that way. Don't even get me on my soap box! 

As a homeschool parent, you get to choose everything. What they learn, how they learn it, when they learn it, and what you use to teach it. As long as they get the basics (reading, writing, math- and I would argue that's all the "formal" education they need for a good, long while), the world is wide! If you live in Texas, you live in one of the best state for homeschooling. No standardized testing!

The glorious news is that there is an entire world of curriculum available out there that can give you as little or as much support as you want or need. And I mean WORLD! 

There are scripted curriculums that literally tell you exactly what to say and do. 

There are online programs that will essentially teach your child with you there to guide and support. 

There are books, podcasts, co-ops, one day academies, private tutors, university models... the list goes on and on.

There are actually SO many resources available to homeschoolers that it can be quite overwhelming. 

If you want to see what I mean, check out this site that provides an extensive list of products available for each major subject area and reviews for each of them. 

There is even an entire store in the Houston area called The Homeschool Store stocked with a nauseating... I mean, surprising! array of materials and extremely helpful staff who can help you sift through it all. (Although for me this store is like a black hole, so visit with caution!)

But also know that children are wired for learning. They are born curious. They are learning all the time and when you give them time and space to ponder and explore, you will be shocked by what they can discover. I have so much fun every single day just watching and learning right alongside my kids. I'm actually rediscovering things I previously hated- like physics!- because I can see the beauty and wonder in it through the eyes of my children. 

It really is a beautiful thing. 

So, never fear. You will be able to find exactly what you need to teach your child. 

(And there is always YouTube!)

I feel like this needs to be shouted from the rooftops because it is just so important: 

You DO NOT need to be a trained teacher to educate your child! Trust me! 

If you love your child, you can homeschool. Bottom line. 

2. I don't think I can be around my kid(s) all day. 

Yes, I feel ya. 

This was a big deal for me when we first started. 

This is the one part of homeschooling that I feel like I have had the most to learn and have had to do the most growing, so I've become really passionate about it. Bear with me... this is lengthy.

Before homeschooling we were in a routine of not being together all day and I reallyyyyyy enjoyed my coffee shop dates and solo trips to the grocery store and all the wonderful things one can do without children tagging along!

But I quickly realized that the kids going to school (it was just a four day a week preschool for our oldest, a two day a week program for our middle and the baby wasn't born yet) was actually the root of a lot of the stress and strain in our relationships. But being home all day together has actually changed our relationship for the better. We are all closer and I feel like I have a much more genuine relationship with my kids than ever before. 

Taking away all the external distractions, the stress of having to get everyone dressed and out the door every single day, and having time to relax and really enjoy each other has made a huge difference. I feel like we are living a much more authentic and rich life than the hustle and bustle we had previously. 

However...

It was tough there for the first several months, I'm not going to lie. 

My oldest and I have very similar personalities and he didn't just sit down and do what I told him to like I expected him to. Sitting at a table face to face with my own kid was vastly different than standing in front of a classroom of kiddos. Little did I know that God was using my relationship with him to teach me and grow me and that was a very rude awakening. 

I mean, I'm a teacher by profession! That's what I do! And there I was struggling with ONE student-my own child! It almost felt like a personal affront. 

Now I know that was the point. 

It took a lot, and I mean a LOT, of tears, frustration, hurtful words, apologies, PRAYER, and trial and error to figure out a dynamic that worked for us. And while it still isn't perfect, I'm learning more about how to reach for his heart, not just his immediate obedience.

I feel like choosing to homeschool has sent him the message (in so many words), "I choose you. I choose to be with you. You are most important to me right now even though this is hard and even though it will take some time to figure things out. I'm not giving up on you." Working through the trials and frustrating moments has bonded our hearts together in a special kind of way. 

As the younger two get older and they start more formal school work, I'm actually a little excited to see what their personalities and quirks will be. I know I have so much more to learn. Yes, I will make mistakes and it won't be perfect, but that's actually one of the most beautiful parts of homeschooling in my opinion. This is real life. These are my people. I can't escape them after one school year. We are in this for the long haul.

There have been and will continue to be lots of times when I feel overwhelmed, when I question our decision, or when I feel like I am failing them. There have been and will continue to be arguments, tears, anger, and harsh words said. But those moments also give birth to the beautiful moments of apology, repentance, and forgiveness. 

So yes, it may be hard, and yes, some days I long for those child-free days of independence, but I promise you if you stick it out, lean on the Lord and pray for guidance and wisdom, it will be worth it. 

And you can still have time out with friends and have a life- but that's a post for another day!

3. Won't the kids be social outcasts? 

Ah, yes. The classic socialization question. This was at the top of my list of fears, too. 

But trust me when I say, this is really NOT something to worry about. 

As a former public school teacher, I can say with confidence that there are kids sitting in public school classrooms all over the country who are social outcasts. Just because a child is sitting in a classroom with same-aged peers all day long does not immediately ensure they will know how, or choose to appropriately interact with those peers. It's quite possible for a student to go an entire day in a public school without saying much of anything. Maybe you were that kid!

I've come to learn and realize that most kids are actually MORE capable of interacting with others when homeschooled because they spend more time around adults who are (hopefully) more of a model of appropriate interaction than those same-aged peers they would have in a traditional classroom.

When the kids have squabbles, whether with each other or with friends, I can be there to coach and intercede as needed while infusing our own biblical principles. Of course there is a fine line between letting kids work things out for themselves and helicoptering, but having the ability to help solve problems when necessary is a nice benefit.

Homeschooled kids also have a chance to get out into the world, interact with real people in real places (think the library, grocery store, museums, parks, etc.) rather than being in that same classroom day in and day out.

You won't be home all day every day. Or maybe you will be if that's your style, but we most definitely are not! I aim to have at least one or two days each week where we are home all day, but we have so many options of things to do that sometimes I have to pull back to keep those one or two days sacred.

We live in the Houston/Katy area and there are numerous co-ops, playgroups, social groups, sports activities, etc. It just takes reaching out and  participating. 

If you have multiple kids the benefits compound because they will have LOTS of opportunities throughout the day to practice those problem-solving and social skills. ;) And so will you as the parent! 

So, as long as you aren't keeping your kid locked in the basement, they will be fine. 

Really! 

I know there are a host of other fears, concerns, and hesitations, but these three seem to be the main focus of most of the parents I talk to. Hopefully that was helpful!

Now that I've addressed those three main things I want to be sure to also say this: I don't necessarily think homeschooling is for everyone. 

I am not saying that every family should homeschool. In fact, I would say that if you aren't feeling the call in any way, shape, or form, then it probably isn't the path for your family. God uses all of us and our unique personalities for His purposes. Working outside of the home and/or having your kids in a school setting of some kind may be the absolute best for everyone in your family. For me, this is the path He's called me to, and I'm just listening and obeying. 

There could come a time when we feel the Lord calling us to make changes. We could eventually put one or more child in public or private school. Who knows! That's the beauty. We aren't stuck with one option forever. We have choices. And so do you! ;)

BUT if you feel the call, even just a little bit, listen. It may be just a general sense of uneasiness when you think about school or it may be a small little whisper that's inspiring you to learn more about homeschooling. Whatever that voice may sound like, stop and listen. 

Just explore. 

Just think about it. 

You don't have to make any decisions immediately. 

Now that we have been at this homeschooling thing a while, I have learned so, so much. I feel more inspired and grateful every single day, especially being able to watch the kids learn and grow both as individuals and in their sibling relationships. As unexpected as this whole journey was, I can't imagine life any other way.

It's a wonderful world over here on the other side!! 

I have so much more I would love to share about what I've learned these last couple of years. If this was helpful or you would like to know more about something in particular, let me know! I'm thinking I'll be writing some other posts soon addressing things like: 

-Why homeschool? 

-What a typical day or week looks like for us

-What are the biggest benefits?

-How homeschooling has changed our family for the better

-Educational models and methods, etc. 

But you know how it is with kiddos! Who knows when I'll have the time and energy to write another post. Hopefully I'll see you back here soon!